abide in My love

"I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you."
-Jesus (John 16:12-15)

I was made for Love!

yea sometimes life is hard, and sometimes for a good thing you have to suffer a little and sacrifice some. how worthy is something if it has zero cost? zero value? i like the challenges of life. i like the unpredictability, the danger. Jesus knows this. He made me this way. and He made me this way for a purpose. it's not something i've grown into. it's the way ive always been. and it is for His purpose. to use me for things He can't use others for because He made them for things that i wasn't made for, that i cannot do. He is my joy. through these past couple, and life changing, years with Jesus ive come to find im filled with the most joy and hope and love for Him when i realize i need Him. and He has never let me down. sometimes i may be looking for Him to move in one way while He decides to move in another and i don't see it, but He's still moving and loving and redeeming His creation.

Man was never made to die
Man was made to live in the Joy of His presence
and splendor forever
We were made for the Garden of His heart
Full of Life

King of Joy

the secret place is so beautiful!
so peaceful
so safe
so love
so merciful
so powerful
so fiery
so pure
so clean
so clear
so Holy

is this secret place Your heart?
is this secret place a place of being consumed in who You are?
deeper

There is a Fountain Filled with Blood

There is a fountain filled with blood
drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains,
lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see
that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he,
washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away,
washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he,
washed all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God
be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more,
be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God
be saved, to sin no more.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die,
and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die.

When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy power to save.
I’ll sing Thy power to save,
I’ll sing Thy power to save;
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy power to save.

Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared,
unworthy though I be,
For me a blood bought free reward,
a golden harp for me!
’Tis strung and tuned for endless years,
and formed by power divine,
To sound in God the Father’s ears
no other name but Thine.

Let the fire in Your eyes erupt a fire in my heart, Jesus!

i hear people say things like "it's just a word?" (usually in a cussing situation).
but "just a word" created this entire universe.
you're/my words carry a heavy weight
they will create something
something good or something evil
but they will create.

You think about Your words, Jesus
and You liked the sound of my name
i can only imagine the love with which you first spoke my name
taylor, because Your creation of my being excited Your heart.
i am Yours
You are mine.

what is the width, length depth, and height of Your love
that you have for us?

i just want to know You

why do i always read scripture, specifically the gospels, as if Jesus is mad at me? was i raised this way? was i raised in a church that believed that Jesus is always disappointed in them? i remember at times "teachers" in sunday school saying there is nothing we can do to please God. but this just straight up is not true.

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
-Hebrews 13:16 for example

there are many times in scripture that the Lord isn't pleased with unrighteousness and people believing the Lord isn't good...

You have wearied the LORD with your words.
"How have we wearied him?" you ask.
By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?"
-Malachi 2:17

i was just reading John 4 where Jesus says to a man who has come to Him to save his dying son, "Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will by no means believe." (v.48). i always read that as if Jesus is frustrated. but why? i have no reason to believe this. is it because i grew up in a sarcastic society that i read the scriptures as Jesus being sarcastic and with frustration? i mean, the man left believing the Word of God when Jesus told him to "Go your way; your son lives." (v.50) without even being where his child was to see if he was healed. the man just believed what Jesus had said to him. how could Jesus be mad that a man was believing His Word? was the man not accounted for righteousness by believing the Word of God? for doing the work of God?

Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God,
that you believe in Him whom He sent."
-John 6:29

give us revelation and wisdom and intimacy to know who You are Jesus!
to come to You for life.
Amen

the only moment we're alone

take me to that mountain

this is my Jesus, strong and mighty, conqueror

⁴ For though He was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you.
-1 corinthians 13

there is Jesus before the cross and there is Jesus after the cross.

...I heard behind me a loud voice, as of a trumpet, 11 saying, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the
First and the Last,”...¹² Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands, ¹³ and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. ¹⁴ His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; ¹⁵ His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; ¹⁶ He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength. ¹⁷ And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead. But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me,^h]">[h] “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last. ¹⁸ I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death..."
-rev. 1

this is for You

When you've been broken, broken to pieces.
And your heart begins to faint
'cause you don't understand.
And when there is nothing to rake from the ashes.
And you can't even walk
onto the fields of praise.

But I bow down and kiss the Son.
Oh, and I bow down and kiss the Son.

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth.
Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth.

Well, though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord.
Well, though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord.
Though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord.
Though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord.

When the rock falls, falls upon you.
And you get ground to dust
no music for your pain.
You open the windows, the windows of heaven.
And then You opened me
and You crushed me like a rose.

You're a good good Father, and You love Your children

how great is the love of God that He would send one of His sons from the other side of the world to love a child because He knows that person is the perfect vessel to love this child thru. Jesus is Good. Jesus is Light

God, the inventor of love

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you
that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit
should remain, that whatever you
ask the Father in My name He may give you.
-John 15:10

i've got a River of Life flowing out of me

right before i received the Holy Spirit the Lord said to me,
"My light will outshine all your darkness."

little did i know in psalm 18 David says,
"The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness."

one day a friend of mine asked the Lord,
"am i hearing Your voice?"

He replied to her,
"of course you hear My voice. you're My best friend"

my heart and my flesh cry out for You. my soul longs, yes even faints for Your courts

breath Your breathe of Life into my soul
i'm having a hard time, Jesus

God, the inventor of mercy

i'm thankful my Father forgives me and has patience with me. the heart is a place of great love and evil things. so quick to fail yet so eager to be strengthened. i am so in need of the patience, grace, and mercy of Jesus. i fail time and time again and slander and gossip and hold bitterness. but the Lord pulls me out of the pit. He saves me and rescues me from the evil that tries to kill me and convince me that He doesn't love me. i am thankful for who God is. He is light (1 john). He is pure light. and Hallelujah! the truth is He loves me. You love me. when men hate me You love me. when i sin He is merciful and compassionate and loving enough to correct me and not leave me in my current place to die. when man can't forgive me and his patience has run out the Lord is still standing with arms wide open to me. I am thankful for who You are, God. my heart is refreshed when i'm reminded of Your love and the intimacy You desire with me.

"And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin..."
-exodus 33:6-7

Jesus. Amen

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
-Psalm 51:12

oh yea (as in the "i remember now" kind of "yea")! the joy of salvation!

He will finish His work in me. He hasn't put me aside. The story is still being written...

remembering to be still

take me to the place where You are

cause i love You! i love You!

friend of God

what can wash away my sins? NOTHING but the blood of Jesus!

i have been bought with a price. i have been made a son of God by God Himself! i have victory! God is my Father! Jesus is my Brother! the Holy Spirit is my Friend! Hallelujah. the blood of Jesus has bought me and made me His beloved! how i love my King, my Savior! Jesus is King! not the devil, BUT Jesus!

lately it has been accented to me the idea of Jesus dancing with His bride; of Him having that first dance with His bride. there IS going to be a wedding where we marry our King. Hallelujah! Our King is greater. Amen.

complete communion requires a heart that says YES to ANYTHING the Lord wants to do

The moment you surrender to the Lord, He will fill you with His Spirit. You don't need to beg for the infilling. And it doesn't require a bucket of tears. All it takes is a total surrender to Christ and a willingnes to embrace His precious Holy Spirit.
Total surrender brings total infilling, and total submission brings total fellowship. But just as in marriage, you've got to work at it every day: "Jesus, I love You"; "Father God, I adore You"; "precious Holy Spirit, I long for Your fellowship." If you neglect communicating just one day, the next time it's a little harder.
-Benny Hinn (Good Morning, Holy Spirit)

Jesus, You are my joy!
You're worth it
You're worth it ALL

Your kingdom come. Your will be done

i'm in awe of the provisions of my Father. i don't think i have ever been given so much from others and given so many things for free in my whole life. i'm doing my best to seek first His kingdom. He loves us, His children. we are co-heirs with Christ of the kingdom of God. all is His. pour out Your Spirit on the earth Lord! come Jesus.

You never leave me. You redeem the dead. Come Jesus. Amen

And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."

-Exodus 3:12

the sign that He was with Moses came after. meanwhile He was always with him. we will get to the point of worship not even knowing how we got there if when we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. give me strength to endure Jesus. that You that You're my helper Holy Spirit

KNOW I LOVE YOU

do you know that I love you? do you know that I LOVE you?
I will be your peace. I will be your strength. do you know that I LOVE you?
find rest for your soul. I am not burdensome. do you know that I love you as my son?
do you know that I am please to be your Father? do you know that I LOVE you?
do you know I am wise? do you know I am working for the good of my children?
do you know I am working for the good of you? do you know that I have a future for you?
a plan that will not be disrupted? do you KNOW that I LOVE you?
do you know I know the anxieties of your heart?
do you know I thought about you before I formed you and said Yes!?
do you know I made you for my joy? do you know I find joy in making you joyful?
do you know I find joy in making you into My son?
do you know I love to give you the keys to My kingdom? do you know that I LOVE you, son?
do you know I am full of power and fully capable?
do you know I have come to you?
do you know you are being set free?
do you know there is more?
do you know that I LOVE YOU?
because I love you

You are lovely

i forgot about the heart. He is reminding me of His love. the love i forgot about. He is reminding me that what i'm looking for may not be how it is. Israel was waiting for God to come and make them a mighty nation. what they didn't realize is the way He was doing this. that He was changing hearts and healing the sick. He came destroying the works of the devil against His people. they didn't see His kingdom. they were being made a mighty nation and they didn't see it. they didn't see that God Himself came to them to dwell among them and give them a new and better covanent. a covenant full of intimacy. a covenant in which, because of His mercy, would take away their striving. ive been looking for the physical and forgot that the battle isn't against flesh and blood but principalities and powers. He is working in my heart. telling me how close He is. telling the things He really cares about. telling me of the coming of New Jerusalem. telling me im His son whom He wants near to Him. He's drawing me closer

Behold, I make all things new

Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful." And He said to me, "It is done!"

-Revelations 21:1-6

This is what i look forward too. this is where my hope stands. that Jesus is establishing His kingdom on the earth. and one day the fullness of heaven will come to earth and all evil will be cast into the fire. i search and wait for my home country.

These all [Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah] died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has
prepared a city for them.
-Hebrews 11:13-16

stepping out

Jesus, where do i find you? where do i go to be with you? be Thou my vision

laying down in the River and being swept away

the Lord encouragingly said to me,

"you don't even know what's in you.
you have no idea what you're capable of."

the result?

going into a crowd of people and Jesus healing every person i touched.
many of the people were healed when i touched them,
before i could even get a word out to pray for them.

this is the promise of our Father. this is His word. this is what He said we would do!

When we are fearful He is still heavily
aware of who He is in you.
And even when you aren't aware,
He is still fully aware that you
are His son and a co-heir with Christ

When we are unfaithful,
He is faithful.

Im sooo alive in Jesus

away from tv. away from air conditioning. away from money. having the water shut off for a week at times. living on the top bunk of bunk beds in a tiny room with 4 other guys. sleeping in a sleeping bag. going weeks without a shower. sleeping under a mosquito net. living without windows. being followed down the street by a man with a knife with a plan on robbing or possibly killing me. living across the street from the most beautiful beach ive ever seen. eating rice and beans nearly every day for nearly every meal with orphans, widows, and the disabled. to eat on the floor with them. to be covered in dirt. getting torn up by thorns you pass by while driving 2.5hrs down a bumpy dirt "road" on a full moon to tell people about Jesus with your friends...and to feel like you would rather be no where else in the world at that time. having the power shut off regularly in the city and being able to see every star Jesus made at night. and all to hear the voice of Jesus clearer and to be closer.

i have never felt more alive.

it's hard being back here in my luxuries. i'm thankful for all the Lord has given me...but its hard. i'm thankful for the safety we have here...but i feel there is an adventure i was made for.

"of course you hear My voice. you're My best friend!"

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should
obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members
as instruments of unrighteousness to sin,
but present yourselves to God as being alive
from the dead, and your members
as instruments of righteousness to God.
For sin shall not have dominion
over you, for you are not
under law but under grace.
-Romans 6:12-14

i've noticed lately in churches hearing pastors refer to himself and the congregation as sinners. they are presenting us as sinners. we the redeemed are being presented as filthy. the blood of Christ has redeemed us and made us clean my friends! we are NOT who we were. we are new and we are beautiful!

there was one of the most beautiful girls ive ever met in my life in
mozambique when i was there. we were talking one day and she
said she would look in the mirror and hate what she saw
(how i do not know). then one day the Lord gave her a
sweet revelation. She said if she had a daughter and
knew that she hated what she saw in the mirror it would
completely devastate her. the Lord looks upon her
beauty in complete awe.

when we recieve Jesus we take on His beauty in the eyes of God. We are His creation whom are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14)! Before we were made He thought about us. He thought about me and LOVED what He saw and created me for His joy, to be exactly who He made me to be. to be His best friend.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be
more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
-Psalm 139:17-18

sometimes life feels too long

come take me home

how weak i am
how much i need Jesus

i'll have
unspeakable
unmovable
joy
when i finally embrace the truth of God's love for me
and His mercy and grace
pure untainted joy
i long for this day

when i was really really little, like preschool i think, i always had this reoccurring nightmare where i was on a frozen lake surrounded by a forest of thorns (bushes to the height of tall trees). i would always slide uncontrollably across the ice and into the thorns where i would get stuck and get terrified then wake up.

last week Jesus gave me a vision and a sweet revelation of the power of intimacy with Him. i was standing in front of a forest on a road. it was very dark and filled with thorns and vines. it was so thick that you couldn't see through it. but i saw Jesus thru it. i couldn't see Him when i focused on the darkness and the horror of the road but if i looked past all that i saw Him clearly on the other side. He told me to keep focused on Him and not focus on the thorns that poke at me and slow me down. to constantly look at Him. otherwise i get focused on my thorn and lose site of Him and lose hope in my abilities to free myself. but if i keep looking at Him i keep getting closer. somehow He gets me thru it all as if it was never even there.

my post titled "Delight in me", a few posts down, are my direct thoughts from that vision immediately after it happened.

listen for His whisper

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

-1 Kings 19:11-13

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
- Romans 12:12

give me eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart of understanding

i want to hear
i want to see

Delight in me

i really feel like God is bringing me into a real pure joy. it's that joy that hurts to get. its very deep and comes straight from the very depths of our souls and it takes a very hard and painful road to. a road that passes all my failures, all my shame, all my sin, all my weaknesses, all my hurts and pains and scars and fears along the way. it's a road that confronts all those things and a road on which i realize i fail 90% of the time. but it's a road where Jesus is at the end and smiling at me and saying "keep coming" while He stares at me with His eyes of fiery passionate love. it's a road He came to earth to walk down and to conquer so we could conquer it too and see Him at the end. no one or nothing can pluck me from His hand. I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

a broken and contrite heart You will not despise

i'm giving You my heart
and all that is within
i lay it all down
for the sake of You my King
i'm giving up my dreams
i'm laying down my rights
and giving up my pride
for the promise of new life
i surrender all to You
all to You

i'm singing You this song
i'm waiting at the cross
and all the world holds dear
i count it all as loss
for the sake of knowing You
and the glory of Your name
to know the lasting joy
and even sharing in Your pain
i surrender all to You
all to You

literally seek His face

O my dove, let me see your face, let me hear your voice

why does my gaze leave the One i love. His gaze is always upon me longing for us to gaze back. my gaze on Him somehow ravishes His heart. with just one glance of my eye (song of solomon 6:5 and 4:9). i pray for a revelation of this Love of You, Jesus. that my gaze would never leave You and always looking deeper. Amen

I'm not just an accident or one He hides His face from.
Before He made us He thought about it.

this is my Beloved

i love hearing His whispers

i can only imagine more

this my Beloved, this is my Friend
I'm gonna love Him until the end of time
I'm gonna see Him face to face
O joy devine!
this is my Beloved

You call me brother

i don't know why i don't believe or can't comprehend the nearness of God

i was at the Livingroom once and just sitting in the corner on a couch. my eyes were closed and i was playing this little thing i made up on the guitar over and over. i felt someone sit down on the couch next to me. i opened my eyes and looked over and no one was there.

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised..."
-Isaiah 53:3

to suffer with Christ...

i am down and You are up

i felt like i found love and have forgotten. i want to find it again and never forget. i want the power of His Word. i want to touch His garments. I want to come to Him and He to me. I want Him to wake me up in the night and tell me He loves me. I want Him to be with me in the day and keep me company. I want Him to satisfy me like only He can. I want to see His face and know His presence and be moved. deeply moved. I want to want nothing else other than Him. I want peace in my soul and love in my heart. I want His Spirit to richly dwell in me. I feel sick. I want Jesus. I want You, Jesus. I need You, Jesus. I need You, Jesus. I need You, Jesus. please hear me. I need You, Jesus

i feel like i'm almost constantly surrounded by friends and family and people i love and love me back. last night i sat in my room and thought "why do i feel so alone" and almost immediately upon thinking this i heard a sweet voice whisper "because I want to get you alone with Me."

why can't i just be still and be alone with my Lover, my Father, my Brother, my Almighty God? to find joy and piece and power in Him and His Word. I love You, Jesus. Forgive me and bring me closer.

"Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you."

-James 4:7-8

Your mercies!

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73:25-26

my flesh my fail and i may sin. my heart may fail and become discouraged. but He is my strength! my restorer! my redeemer! my lover! He is MY portion. and my portion FOREVER! His salvation has come to me! He is the lifter of my head when i am down or when my flesh and heart of failed. He cries out "I forgive you!!!!! just please come home!!!!!! I love you! i miss you! my heart longs for you to be near to me!" what a good good Father! You set us free!

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy! who is a God like you?! may we gaze on Your beauty all the days of our life, God! that we would have joy in You, in Your Holy Spirit who is with us! that You, God, are with us and will never leave us. that You, God, are with ME and will never leave ME! Hallelujah! and Amen.

never forget His mercies

how do we so easily forget the mercy He's had on us and return to our evil ways? let us always remember what He's done for us

surrounded by Your glory
what will my heart feel?
will i dance for You, Jesus?
or in awe of You be still?
will i stand in Your presence?
or to my knees will i fall?
will i sing hallelujah?
will i be able to speak at all?
i can only imagine

Let me see Your beauty God. let me be genuine

¹¹I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. ¹²His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. ¹³He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.

Revelation 19:11-13

the bold text seemed really violent to me at first. but then i realized its the blood shed for our sins. its the blood of our redemption to God. it is the robe of intercession for us. the testimony of the cross. it is the blood of an intense and fiery love.

listen to Me, I love you

"He turned to me and said, 'i know what you've done, and i love you. and if you try to run, i'll chase you.' Thats when i knew it wasn't just my husband speaking to me."

Holy Holy Holy

a little over 2000 years ago Jesus did something He had never done before in all of eternity; He left His Father's side. were there last goodbye's before He came? what was it like in heaven right before this happened? i pray for genuine love for You. Amen

pour out Your Spirit on us

i really do believe that Jesus desires to show Himself to us; to show us His face and to pour out His rich rich love