come and marry me

life lately has felt so incredibly weird. here were are on this earth. we are living every day and trusting the God, whom we don't see, is near and in control. honestly sometimes i'm amazed i'm even alive and that everything is even really happening...that earth is even real. the Lord is really amazing and i think He is trying to bring me to my ends to take me deeper. actually i know He is. He knows my every thought. He knows how i feel more than i know how i feel. i know He is gazing upon me. i just want to gaze back. i want to stare Him in the eyes. He will give us more faith if we ask for more faith. draw is nearer, Lord, and draw nearer to us. i pray for truth and to see Your glory and to experience Your love. that Your Word would be alive in me. that You're kingdom would come to earth and Your will would be done here as it is in heaven. let me gaze upon You, Lord! forgive my unbelief. please help me believe. Amen

"Do you know the way you move Me?"

Lover~
"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves."
-Song of Songs 4:1

i read this and imagined being at a wedding (me being the bride...as weird as that might sound but thats who we are to Jesus; we are His bride) and imagined Jesus lifting the veil from my face and seeing His intense gaze for the first time as being ONE with Him. His love is so sweet and tender and serious. we are His precious bride! and the truth of it is that that veil has already been removed! and not only removed but torn! never to be put back together and placed between us ever again!!!! Hallelujah!!!!! He has made a way for us to enter the Holy Place and commune with Him and gaze upon His beauty and glory. show us Your glory, Jesus! please glorify Jesus in this place, Holy Spirit. thank you Father!

"Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him [Jesus] and cause him to suffer..."
-Isaiah 53:10

Jesus is in heaven and the Holy Spirit is with us. the Holy Spirit longs to make known the glory of God and to glorify Jesus, who longs to please and glorify the Father. the Kingdom of Heaven is here. we have communion with the Holy Spirit because He knows the heart of God and He knows our hearts and He reveals the deep secrets of God's heart to us in order to glorify Jesus. the entire Trinity deeply loves us! it glorifies Jesus for us to love Him and be loved by Him. He wants to make known His Kingdom thru us and in us. it's all for His glory!!!!!

"the Holy Spirit is EAGER to glorify Jesus"

i am my Beloved's and He is mine

the grace and love of Jesus is beyond words...

"here in Your presence God, i find my rest"

nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, nothing can take us away from His ever lasting love! He just keeps coming and coming and loving and loving and showing mercy after mercy after mercy and grace after grace after grace.

i feel like when we proclaim the Truth of God to others the Lord tests it in us...to see if we really believe what we are saying, to test it and make it go deep deep deep into us to make us like a tree who's roots are deep into the ground so that when a storm comes we will stand firm and not be up rooted. thank you Jesus! may we endure in Your name and keep our eyes on Your gaze! Amen

"However, as it is written:
'No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him'[Isaiah 64:4]– but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
-1 Corinthians 2:9-11

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence! (Hebrews 4:16)

"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about Me, yet you refuse to come to Me to have life."

-John 5:39-40

an email i got from my sister

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrRxFoBSPng
"Here's the video of the JHOP San Fran team being taken out of the Castro. They were worshipping the Lord in the city like they have for the past 3 years on Friday Nights. The city residents were so angry over the passing of the same sex ban Prop 8 that they started screaming at them, hitting them, some threw hot coffee at them, took their bibles away and harrased them. The police had to come and escort them out."

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.

Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.

-1 Peter 4:12-14, 16

face to face, Lord!!!!!!

the other day i felt the Holy Spirit told me how we're to live...what mind set to have...how we may hurt and go through difficulties yet never be disappointed or feel rejected.

He told me to live life to bless Him. He then gave me this definition of "to bless": to give, not wanting anything in return. i wrote, "to bless God is to love and praise and serve Him freely; not working but giving yourself just because you love Him. You would do it even if it meant getting nothing in return."

"I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." "...how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"
-Luke 11:8, 13

oh to know how near He wants to come and draw us

"Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me wwelcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all–he is the greatest."
-Luke 9:48

oh Truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh to be like Paul who knew that he had done the task that was set before him. that he knew that he had run the race and fought the good fight. build faith and intimacy Jesus! eyes to see and ears to hear, Lord! may Your kingdom come! Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven!!!!! Your kingdom is here! faith Jesus!!!!!

He's calling us closer

have faith and be joy full ALWAYS! because He is always at work to bring us nearer. (Romans 8:28, 10:8, Ephesians 2:13, Philippians 4:5, Hebrews 7:19)

Christ in you, the hope of glory

"And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind Him [Jesus] and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.
'Who touched me?' Jesus asked.
When they all denied it, Peter said, 'Master, the people are crowding and pressing against You.'
But Jesus said, 'Someone touched me; know that power has gone out from me.'
Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at His feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched Him and how she had been instantly healed. Then He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.'"
-Luke 8:43-48

this amazes me. the bleeding woman knew that there was something available for her. she knew that if she touched Jesus she would be healed. she didn't ask, she didn't get his attention (in fact she tried to hide when she realized He knew)...she just knew that He had something that could help her and she took it. i've heard a lot of sermons about "reaching up and pulling heaven down to earth." i feel this is an example of that. that as heirs to God, sons of the Father, the bride of Christ, that He has made available to us the riches of His kingdom. that we have Christ in us, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). there is something powerful in this. very powerful. she didn't wait, she took...she took what was hers thru faith in Jesus. she had faith in His goodness and power. she had faith that He was from God and that what she had heard about Him (and possibly saw at some previous point in time) was true. she took and it was credited to her as faith... hm.....????? Lord, revelation on this please. Amen

what is the glory of God like?

21Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
-John 14:21


i miss having faith in the realities of Christ and the intimacy He wants with us. i must die to myself and lose everything in me and come to life in Him. He has shown me the supernatural of His realm is real...where has my faith gone? thank You for Your mercy, Lord. please take me back. please take me deeper. to seek Your face. to commune with the Holy Spirit. to know He is always with me. His presence is the sweetest and greatest thing. to feel His heart... i've searched all of my days and have found none like Him.

when i consider Your heavens, the works of Your fingers, the moon and the stars which You've ordained...who am i???

i was driving home last night from nashville and it was about 1:30 in the morning. i was listening to some worship music and looked up into the pitch black clear sky, filled with stars and the largeness and control of God over this world seemed so easy. what could i possibly worry about that the God who made all of this would even have a problem with? and on top of that He loves me with everything in Him! i am His son. He is my Father. i am my Beloved's and He is mine!

i was at a church a couple weeks ago and the pastor described faith as the belief during the absence of the promise. to believe that the promise is still true when there are no signs of it. to know that when i don't feel Him, He is still IN me and gazing upon me. the other day the Lord showed me that when we repent it is like the widowed woman who lost her son. He sees us broken and in need and He is moved with compassion, maybe even to tears, when we turn to Him.

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy." - Micah 7:18

to walk in the cool of the day with You...

Jesus and the widow who lost her son

"When the Lord saw her, His heart went out to her and he said, 'Don't cry.' Then He went up and touched the coffin, and those carrying it stood still. He said, 'Young man, I say to you, get up!' The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother."
-Luke 7:13-16

He looooovvvveeeesssss humbleness...humbleness is so sweet

i love how the Lord moves in us individually as well as corporately. i feel He has been doing this a late with songs lately. He'll put this old worship song in my heart and then i just keep hearing more people randomly busting it out too. today i was in the shower and that song "Lord, have Your way in me" was put in me and i just put on the ihop prayer room and they were singing it. then like a month ago i was praying and the Lord put in my heart that song that is like "may it be a sweet sweet sound in Your ear." like a week after that alex and i were taking communion and he just started busting that out. then the other day at church the worship leader randomly just started singing it after a song ended too. He is so sweet. the Lord is so so sweet!

here i come Lord, a broken vessel. but still i will sing to you. Let it be a sweet sweet sound

i love when the Lord makes me love sick for Him. it's to lead us into that transition to love drunkenness. i don't want base my life with Christ off of anyone else anymore. i want to just gaze upon His beauty and get lost in it. i want to rest in His arms and let Him take me and lead me. i want to live fully by the Spirit. i want full faith in Him.

I love i love, i love you Jesus
I love i love, i love your presence